Your wellbeing content is loading...

How to Say 'No' in the Right Way

Approximate reading time: 4 minutes.

"No" is a small but powerful word. It's one of the first words we learn and as toddlers, we have no qualms about using it. Yet saying, "No!" as adults can be incredibly difficult, especially in the workplace. It may be that you don't want to let people down, you don't believe that saying no is an option, or you're worried about being perceived as being rude, unhelpful, or even discriminatory.

While these are all valid concerns, not being able to say no can be problematic when it comes to establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries.

Saying no in education

two hands reaching for each other with the word no.

Working in schools often adds a unique set of challenges and complexities to saying no. A common example is feeling obligated to do things for colleagues, especially when it's something that'll impact pupils. Even when you want to help, there are limitations to what you can and should do as part of your role. Here are some things which may help you feel more justified when saying no:

  • You're not obliged to agree to anything beyond your contracted duties: Taking on additional responsibilities or helping colleagues with tasks outside of your role.
  • You have limited resources: Saying yes in some circumstances may mean that you aren't able to meet other responsibilities or commitments.
  • Saying no doesn’t mean that you don’t care: It shows that you understand your own capacities and limitations.
  • Saying yes all the time can lead to resentment: Not feeling able to say no can become frustrating, especially if you become the go-to person whenever someone needs help.
  • Saying no helps you manage your time and energy: Saying no enables you to better manage your tasks and avoid becoming overwhelmed.
  • Saying no is a skill: This means it's something that you can develop and become more comfortable with.

How to say no

Here are some tips which can help you become more at ease with saying no:

1. Give people's requests your full attention whenever possible

Paying attention to people's requests helps to show that you've thoroughly considered what they've asked of you. If you need more information, or if your answer is dependent on certain conditions, ask clarifying questions. If the information you need to base your answer on isn't yet available, you may want to say that you'll be able to provide an answer once it becomes available. Even when you're sure that you're unable to help, taking this step will prevent you from appearing dismissive.

2. Begin by setting a positive tone

Beginning with something positive help to soften the blow. If there's a thankworthy reason for them asking you, for example, expertise in a particular area, start by expressing your gratitude for being asked. If there isn't any specific reason, you may be better off expressing compassion for the situation they're in — few school staff are truly flattered when asked to be an extra supervising body at a school disco!

3. Say no clearly and respectfully

Decline the request clearly to avoid ambiguity and any attempts to coax you into changing your mind. While there are times when it's appropriate for 'No,' to be a complete sentence, in this context, it's usually best to expand a little on your answer. Due to the peculiar nature of the English language, saying no doesn't often involve the word "no". Sometimes our endeavours to be polite can result in lengthy responses that may cause confusion. Sticking to clear, straightforward language helps you avoid accidentally saying, "Yes," when you intended to say, "No," instead!

4. Provide an explanation if appropriate

In most cases, it's better to give a reason why you can't help. If you are comfortable sharing your reason, it can help the person making the request better understand your decision. Doing this can also contribute to the experience remaining positive. There may be circumstances where no justification is needed. In such situations, providing a vague explanation can help you both feel more comfortable. Some common ways of saying no are:

  • "I'm afraid I can't help — I'm pushed for time myself."
  • "I appreciate you asking and I wish I could help! But I have too much on my plate at the moment."
  • "I'm really sorry, but that's not something I can help you with."

5. Don’t feel pressured into giving an immediate response

There's nothing wrong with asking for time to consider a request. You might have to check your schedule or communicate with someone else to confirm something. Asking for time to consider can also help you out when you're put on the spot and feel unable to say no. Asking for time allows you to go away and compose your response. You can then deliver this in person, send an email, or communicate through other channels if this feels more comfortable.

Tips for saying no

Here are our top tips for saying no:

  • Show empathy for their situation
  • Be as honest as you can
  • Don't over-explain
  • Provide an alternative suggestion if appropriate
  • Asking clarifying questions doesn't mean you have to say yes
  • Maintain a firm boundary if pressured to change your answer

Being able to say no effectively is important for our overall wellbeing. You can more information on improving the wellbeing of school staff by signing up for the Welbee Toolkit. This free resource contains tips and guidance based on the latest research to support school staff and leaders in improving their wellbeing.

Why not check out some of our newest content?

GuideGuides
Leading an Organisation Leading Staff

How Can Education Leaders Prevent Workplace Stress?

The Education Support's 2023 Teacher Wellbeing Index has, once again, highlighted some of the key challenges facing education staff, but what can leaders do to help prevent workplace stress and improve the wellbeing of those they lead?

Course

Clarity

Clarity, is part of Welbee’s unique approach to help you identify goals and areas to work on, that will have the greatest impact for you. It will also direct you to those resources that will help.
GuideGuides
Leading an Organisation Leading Staff

Achieving Excellence Through People

This guide explores how you can achieve excellence in people through the seven stages of the employee lifecycle.

Course
Personal Development Personal Wellbeing

Managing Stress

Take this course to learn about stress and how to manage your stress triggers, and discover techniques to build your resilience.
BitesizeGuide
Mental Health Personal Wellbeing

A Guide to Managing Finances

Take a look at our helpful guide containing tips, ideas, and resources for managing your finances.

Course
Mental Health Personal Wellbeing

Mental Health Awareness

Take this course to increase your awareness of mental health, it's importance, and explore some of the common mental health issues faced by staff working in education. You'll also explore how you can best support colleagues and help create a positive culture around mental health in your setting.
Course
Personal Development Personal Wellbeing

Workload Management

Take this course to explore strategies for managing your workload including setting priorities, and dealing with specific issues and distractions.
BitesizeGuide
Personal Development Personal Wellbeing

The Importance of Boundaries for School Staff

Discover the importance of setting boundaries for school staff, including the types pf boundaries, key principles, and how to sustain healthy workplace boundaries.

BitesizeGuides
Mental Health Personal Wellbeing

Combating Education Staff Loneliness

Education staff are often with others all day, but loneliness still impacts teacher wellbeing. Learn more about how loneliness impacts you and what you can do to combat it

Course
Leading an Organisation Mental Health

Mental Health Awareness for Education Leaders

Take this course to increase your awareness of mental health, it's importance and explore some of the common mental health issues faced by staff working in education. You'll also explore how you can best support staff you lead and create a positive culture around mental health in your setting.
Course
Leading an Organisation Leading Staff Personal Development

Communicating and Managing Expectations

Take this course to explore the importance of communicating and managing expectations for staff wellbeing, which covers 3 of the 12 leadership competencies proven to prevent and reduce staff stress.
Course
Leading an Organisation Leading Staff Personal Development

Respectful and Responsible: Managing Emotions and Leading With Integrity

Take this course to explore the importance of being a respectful and responsible leader who manages their emotions and leads with integrity. This course covers 3 of the 12 leadership competencies proven to prevent and reduce staff stress.
BitesizeVideo
Mental Health

What is Mental Illness?

Although the terms are often interchanged poor mental health is not the same as having a mental illness. Watch this video to explore what mental illness actually is and how it differs from mental health.

BitesizeVideo
Leading Staff Mental Health

Starting a Conversation About Mental Health

It can be difficult to know how to start a conversation with a colleague or someone you manage about their mental health. Watch this video to discover 10 useful tips to help.

BitesizeVideo
Mental Health

When is a Low Mood Normal?

Watch the video to explore when a low mood may be a normal response life stressors and discover the evolutionary purpose of low moods.

BitesizeVideo

When is Anxiety Normal?

Anxiety can both be a normal reaction to the stressors of day-to-day life, or a sign of a mental health illness. Watch this video to learn how to tell when anxiety is 'normal'.

BitesizeVideo
Leading Staff Personal Development

What Gets in the Way of Effective Listening?

Listening is a key skill for leading in an empathic way which supports employee wellbeing but there are many things that get in the way of listening effectively. Explore 7 of them in this video.

BitesizeVideo
Leading an Organisation Leading Staff

Why is it Important to Show Appreciation to Staff?

Recent UK-wide statistics on the wellbeing of school staff indicate the importance of feeling appreciated and supported in the workplace. Watch this video to discover why creating a culture of appreciation is important.

BitesizeVideo
Mental Health Personal Wellbeing

Why is Sleep Important?

Watch this video to discover why sleep is so essential for positive mental and physical health.

BitesizeGuide
Personal Development Personal Wellbeing

How to Say 'No' in the Right Way

Saying no can be difficult! Read this useful guide to discover the importance of saying no and learn how to say no confidently and professionally.

BitesizeVideo

Ways to Relax

Relaxation is crucial for positive mental health but how can it be achieved amidst immense pressure? Watch this video to hear 5 top tips.

BitesizeGuides
Mental Health Personal Wellbeing

Everything You Need to Know About Sleep

Do you struggle with sleep? This guide will help you understand why sleep is important, the common causes of sleep disturbances, and how to improve your sleep quality.

Course
Personal Development Personal Wellbeing

Personal Effectiveness

Take this course to explore how to improve personal effectiveness, including enhancing your productivity, managing energy, and managing your workload.
Course
Personal Development Stress Management

Managing Personal Energy

Managing energy, not time is the key to personal effectiveness. Take this course to discover the 4 domains of personal energy and how you can manage and improve them.
BitesizeVideo
Personal Wellbeing Stress Management

Cultivating a Positive Mindset

Watch the video to explore some quick tips for cultivating and maintaining a positive mindset.

BitesizeVideo
Leading Staff Personal Development

What is Empathy?

We often about the importance of being empathetic, but what exactly is empathy, and why is it important? Watch this video to find out and discover the 5 elements of empathy identified by Daniel Goleman.

© Welbee 2023
Privacy Policy
Have a question? Contact us at toolkit @welbee.co.uk
or call us on 01277 554001